I have been keeping a journal since 1982 and now am on my 53rd volume. I do not think that this blog will supercede the hand-written journal. I really enjoy having a pen in my hand, being able to draw connecting lines, arrows, write sideways. My journals these days contain private prayers to the God and Father of my Lord Jesus Christ, so those may not be of interest. And, frankly, I am not very good at writing critical essays on current events.
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Sooo, this blog will probably contain the better of my hand-written entries. For instance, the other day I was reading a Calvin commentary on Philippians 2:21 and was struck cold by a paragraph that he wrote.
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"...How great a hindrance it is to Christ's ministers to seek their own interests...For you must give up your own right if you would discharge your duty: a regard to your own interests must not be put in preference to Christ’s glory, or even placed upon a level with it. Whithersoever Christ calls you, you must go promptly, leaving off all other things. Your calling ought to be regarded by you in such a way, that you shall turn away all your powers of perception from everything that would impede you.
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It might be in your power to live elsewhere in greater opulence, but God has bound you to the Church, which affords you but a very moderate sustenance: you might elsewhere have more honor, but God has assigned you a situation, in which you live in a humble style: you might have elsewhere a more salubrious sky, or a more delightful region, but it is here that your station is appointed.
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You might wish to have to do with a more humane people: you feel offended with their ingratitude, or barbarity, or pride; in short, you have no sympathy with the disposition or the manners of the nation in which you are, but you must struggle with yourself, and do violence in a manner to opposing inclinations, that you may keep by the trade you have got; for you are not free, or at your own disposal. In fine, forget yourself, if you would serve God."
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How this comment has touched my heart. It is so easy to follow my own self-interest, wanting ministry my own way, desiring God to work in such and such a way...all for seemingly good motivations. But Calvin has forced me to show my hand. For I must give up my own right to discharge my ministry. Lord Jesus help me.
2 comments:
Thine will, not mine...so easily said, so difficult to know if I am following the right path. This is my daily prayer.
Laura
but God has assigned you a situation, in which you live in a humble style: you might have elsewhere a more salubrious sky, or a more delightful region, but it is here that your station is appointed.
this is quite convicting. Here am i send me is just that. Not going where I want to go. To obey is better than sacrifice.. Not easily done, for this pride filled one.
reggyresearch
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